In anticipation of Halloween 2014, I posted this question on my Facebook page: “Think back…what was the absolute worst candy/item you’ve ever received while trick-or-treating?”
Within three responses, I knew this was a thread that needed to be turned into a post. The answers were priceless and here are the Top 10.
10. “Toothbrush from the dentist down the street, complete with a poem on how to brush.” –Melissa N-M
Commentary: Talk about beating a dead horse. It’s bad enough scoring a toothbrush on Halloween, of all holidays, but with an accompanying poem?!? Cruel.
9. “Five pennies bound together. Even a straight up nickel would have been better.” –Ken M.
Commentary: Unless Ken was a child in the 1920’s, scoring 5 cents, in any coinage, just sucks. This one particularly hit home with me as I too once received 5 cents from an old geezer.
8. “A prayer on a paper slip.” –Sylvia B.
Commentary: When I started writing many moons ago, I vowed to never mix food with religion. Sometimes you must make exceptions.
7. “Nothing! We knocked on a house full of Jehovah’s Witnesses and got a scolding.” –Joann S.
Commentary: Dammit! I swear, no more religion.
6. “Lion Club candy!!! Yuck!!! And they still give it out … my daughter got tons of it last year … don’t people know it’s nasty?” –Crystal B.
Commentary: Apparently, there is a fairly large segment of the population that still thinks this candy isn’t the most vile and disgusting horseshit known to man.
5. “Circus Peanuts. I’d prefer an apple with a razor blade in it.” –Carla K.
Commentary: True story, when I was five, I had to drag in trash cans for some old lady across the street. As payment for the task, I received two Circus Peanuts, which immediately got placed right in the trash can I had just taken to the side of her house.
4. “Ramen Noodles.” –Brian P.
Commentary: OK…that’s just plain funny. Could you imagine the disappointment?
3. “I got a cough drop once!” –Jess M.
Commentary: Your spoiled ass should have been happy with a cough drop. And don’t tell me it was a cherry Luden’s. Those were better than half the candy I devoured as a kid.
2. “I once got carrot sticks in a little baggy.” –Jenny B
Commentary: What sick SOB hands out carrot sticks on Halloween? And you know they were the same leftover bag from an earlier lunch. Poor kid.
1. “I got a rock.” –Evan H.
Commentary: I obviously don’t know all the details, but getting a rock while trick-or-treating is like getting a swift kick in the nuts … it happens fast, and the pain is deep and long-lasting. There’s a special place in hell for the person who gives out rocks on Halloween.
Honorable Mention: “Easter Peeps. Seriously.” –Ashton W.
Commentary: It’s never too late to clean out that Easter candy, and seriously, the shelf life on Peeps is like 10 years. Still, it’s pretty demoralizing to be on the receiving end.